Falling in Love with Jesus all over again!!!

Is this too long for a title? Oh well, does the length of title really matter? 

Tonight was one of those nights I felt that I needed to let my story, my emotions, my thoughts be penned down, or typed out, somewhere so it doesn't go to waste. Many a times I feel like this is something I wanted to do, but procrastination always get in the way, and distraction too. Not sure how many posts this blog will eventually have, but it's better than not taking the first step don't you think? 

It felt like a usual Wednesday, where I worked from home (thanks to the pandemic), took the afternoon off to teach a student before I headed to visit my great-grandmother. Yes, you read it right, great-grandmother. And in case you aren't quite sure where that sits in a family tree, she is my grandmother's mother. I'm blessed that she is still well and alive, aged 93. And I've also been grateful that I've got to live thus far with not just vague memories of her but really walked journeys and even lived with her (for a couple of years). If I was to start sharing from our stories, I think we will probably never really get to the story and highlight of today. So let's skip that for another time. 

I reached the house gate and address her with a shout, not that I was trying to be rude but simply because it helps with her hearing. Well for most of the time, I wasn't expecting her to response. For the past few weeks, or even months, she has been pretty lifeless and just lying on the bed so she hasn't been very responsive. Today I actually saw her sitted up and her legs wiggled when she heard sound coming from the door. And when I entered, her eyes were actually wide opened! Not sure how long it has been since I saw her so awake and so before I had my dinner, I decided to sit beside her, and video call my mother in Sydney, while she was still awake, so my mum could get to see her virtually and converse with her. Even my mum could tell she was looking better today. 

After we got off the call, I thought my great-grandmother would begin to doze off, but she didn't. I had a quick bite, then went to sit beside her. Usually she would probably be sleeping, or resting, but today she was wide awake. After the news, I decided, maybe it would make sense to turn on some Christian services in Teochew for her to watch. Not that I was expecting anything, or that she would stay awake throughout. But the Lord has His ways of surprising us indeed. She closed her eyes for a bit during the worship segment, guess it was quite smoothing for her. But she eventually woke up when the Pastor started preaching. 

Sharing the gospel and leading great-grandmother in the salvation prayer has always been something that has been sitting in my heart, except of course, it has its challenges. One, majority of my wider family are not believers and I wouldn't know how comfortable they are for me to do so, and two, it isn't easy to preach the gospel, what more in Teochew. But you just got to love it of how easy and simple the things of God ought to be. Just a few weeks back, I played a Jesus movie dubbed in Teochew, but she slept through it all and she wasn't awake enough to know what the movie was about. And what more, she has goldfish memory now, meaning her memory lasts for seconds only, and so that definitely was one of the other huddles to overcome. Back to today, she actually lasted through the whole sermon and seemingly like she was waiting for more when it ended. So I went back to that Jesus movie, which I remembered they ended with a salvation prayer (in Teochew) and asked if she wanted to repeat after the prayer. Slowly but surely, she repeated the prayer, not just once, but twice!!!

Years back, I prayed to the Lord, especially whenever great-grandmother faced health attacks, that He would only take her home if only she was going home with the Lord. Yes, that means her salvation. And it has been sitting in my heart ever since. It wasn't easy, or so I thought. But tonight, what the Lord did, reminded me that truly, He loves my great-grandmother more than me. He wants her in Heaven more than I do! Felt my heart really rested tonight. For the past few weeks or even months when I saw how the devil came to steal, kill and destroy her life, I hardly even have the faith to declare life and life more abundantly over her. I questioned the Lord if it was really for sure that even if she had to leave this Earth someday that she would be going to Heaven with Jesus. Not having that certainty, and I also thought that I would not have that assurance before she leave, yet the Lord knew how important it was for me to be assured that she is saved! She is saved in His arms. No matter what her memory serves at at the current moment where she probably have no recollection that she already said the salvation prayer, but I know Lord, once she is saved, she is forever saved. Nothing can take her away from you Lord. 

How not to fall in love with Jesus all over again? While I did not feel my heart fluttered with joy when she said the salvation prayer, maybe it is because it feels surreal, I know for sure, that there was a peace, not that the world can give, but only the Lord can give. Thank you Jesus for your shalom peace, for not just loving my great-grandmother inside out, but for loving me too and showing me once again that you are Lord indeed, and not just any other God, but a God who loves unconditionally and so much so to give up your one and only Son Jesus for all of us, that we may have a channel to receive life eternally.