Jesus, how big is your heart?

Christmas Eve 2018, I met a mutual lady friend while celebrating Christmas Eve at one of my ex-colleague turned friend's place. Didn't know that the Lord has so much planned out for us. Before meeting her, my ex-colleague turned friend (thereafter known as Mr H) did share with me a little background that she is going through a really tough time in her life and wanted to see if I can talk her through (if there was favour) and maybe lead her to a community and support in Church. 

When Mr H sent us home after the dinner, I felt led to ask her for her phone number. Wonder how it would be if I didn't. So I asked her out for a meal a few times before she reluctantly said yes. And it was because she was concerned she would have nothing to say if she met me because she was going through a down time in life. She had met a guy who wasn't able to commit or give her the happiness she wanted. Yet she found it hard to leave. She went through an extended time of that before she finally decided to cut it off. Painful as it can be, she chanced upon another guy, this time younger, on a Grab share ride. And this time it was yet another man who cannot commit and promise her a future. It was also because of this man that she shared with me that she was suicidal and upon seeking advice from church, we decided to make a police report for her safety. Thankfully she was okay, she was actually at home while threatening to take her own life, but she didn't. She just complained that she was very traumatised by the experience because she had to go to the police station and go through the process of the police sharing with her the importance of life and not to take her own life. Thereafter, she met a divorced man, with 2 kids, and it was another story where the man could not give her anything that accounts to happily ever after. Shortly after, she found a "community" on Discord and met a guy from US. Then her heartbreaking story started again. She could not eat, could not sleep, could not even concentrate on her work. And yet she couldn't bring herself to leave him. 

She chatted with me on the phone about him for quite a bit this period of time, just felt like going in circles with her, and I don't know how Lord can you lead her out of the vicious cycle she's been getting herself into. Why do she keep allowing man that knows nothing about what true love really is to come into her life. Jesus, you are the one true lover, only when she has tasted the goodness of your love can she really know that God you love her too much to want her to go through such heartaches again and again. The least I could do for her (or the most) besides praying for her is to love upon her. But Lord, love isn't always easy. How do you do it? I took her out for dinner for her birthday on the eve of her birthday, and even grabbed lunch for her earlier when she said she hasn't eaten anything. What else can I do, Lord? 

Yet she couldn't stop texting the guy, she couldn't stop crying over this guy. Lord, I know this is her life to live, but even witnessing it is painful. How much I wish she could just walk out already, I know it will be heartbreaking but it wouldn't be as heartbreaking as if she decide to stay on with a man who doesn't know how to love her like You do. How to love, Lord? 

And she has also been trusting you Lord for her complete healing of the floaters and her eye infection. And Lord I know you have already paid for her healing at the Cross yet she isn't able to see it yet. What's the missing gap, Lord?

God, I know your heart is super big! But I really can't comprehend what it is in this whole story that you want me to a part of? 

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